Fanfiction cliché
by In2lalaland
Summary: There are many clichés in the world of fanfiction. This is my version, 2x5x2 style. One shot Slave!fiction, Arranged marriage!fiction, evil Heero!fiction, you name it.
1. Chapter 1

Fanfiction cliché 1 – The bachelor auction.

In which someone gets put in a bachelor auction and someone buys him.

The bachelor

"Our next bachelor is none other than the headquarter's very own agent, Wufei Chang!"

Wufei bit back a snarl as he stepped onto the stage and into the spotlight. He could not believe that Sally had tricked him in to this. She had made it sound like he was going to be part of the security at a charity event, not a prize to be auctioned out!

Duo laughed his ass off after he had found out – in fact, he was still doing it, because the second that Sally had called out his name, Duo's maniac laughter started to echo through the ballroom.

Wufei shifted his jaw as he swore revenge both on the evil woman and his idiot partner standing bellow him in a sea of eager-looking females. He really wished that Duo would not there to witness the event because he would never let him live it down.

"So ladies... and gentlemen," she said, nodding her head at the still laughing Duo in front of the stage. "We will start the bidding at 500 credits for this fine piece of man meat," she happily called out into the microphone.

Wufei couldn't decide who to direct his killer glare at. Sally or the hyena at his feet. He settled for his partner who really should know better than to piss him off since he had the spare key to his beloved apartment. He quietly swore revenge on the man formally known as his best friend.

"Can I get 500 credits?" Several hands were raised in the air as voices happily called out their agreement. Wufei closed his eyes in shame, clearly thinking that things could not get any worse, only to snap them open again at the sound of that voice. That high pitched voice that haunted his nightmares and had been the bane of his existence since he first set his foot in the Preventers building. The voice that belonged to none other then Beth Jones, fellow floor agent and personal stalker.

He wasn't the only one who had noticed her, because Duo stopped laughing and stared at her with his mouth open. Duo was very aware of the "Becky situation" as he called it since he, on several occasions, had saved Wufei from her. Not that Duo could do all that much because she haunted him like a dog. Flirting, touching, cornering him at any chance she got.

Wufei couldn't really do anything to stop her since he already had two sexual discrimination complaints hanging over his head. Une had been very clear that if he got another one, he would be out on his ass.

Duo thought that he should file his own sexual discrimination complaint, but Wufei refused. He did have some honor after all, and men, real men, did not get sexually harassed. It just was not done. It didn't matter how many times he woke up in the morning, dreading to have to go to work because she would be there. It didn't matter how many times she would grab his dick when he walked past, even if it was pretty often since he had to walk past her desk to get to the file room. He didn't know how much money he had spent on sweets to bribe Duo to get the files that he needed.

But right now, it didn't matter even if he owned a whole candy shop. He certainly couldn't use it to bribe Duo because the latter had no way of helping in this situation. There were no doors to lock here, no way to arrive early to avoid her. He was wide open for attack, here on the stage, with an uncomfortably hot spotlight shining down on him and a price on his head.

God, if it weren't for those complaints, he would have broken her nose long ago, or at least those wandering fingers. It just wasn't fair!

So he might possibly have looked down a bit on the female agents when he first joined... and pretty much ever since. But the most of them were so weak!

The first complaint had been filed by his first partner. But what did they expect when they put him on active duty with someone who spent more time checking her nails than her gun? The woman was nothing but an idiot, something that he had told her quite clearly. There went complaint number one.

Thank god that Duo had joined the Preventers right then. The man might be annoying when he was in one of his moods, but at least he knew how to do his job, and he didn't leave plastic nails all over the office.

The second complaint came from another agent on their floor. He didn't really know her competence as an agent, she had just pissed him off, and there went complaint number two.

All he needed was one more, and he was done. Becky was probably very aware of the situation, since all that kind of paper work went past her. He could see it now, him not wanting to do whatever she wanted him to do on their "date" and Becky dangling a sexual discrimination form over his head before pushing him down on her bed. Wufei shuddered. Just yesterday she had cornered him in the copy room. For someone without military training, she was terrifyingly fast. She had him pushed up against the copy machine with her hand down his pants, whispering about his head between her legs before he even realized that someone else was in the room.

He meet Duo's eyes from the stage, trying to signal his desperation. ´Get me out of this, and I'll write your reports until you retire,' he tried to communicate, but Duo looked about as helpless as he felt. The betting went on, but as the price climbed, less women joined in. Wufei felt slightly light-headed when 5 000 was called out, and only three people were still bidding.

"6 000," Becky purred, making the woman in the back and the woman to the right hesitate.

"6 500." A new voice called out, and Wufei felt his hope rise. Duo was standing there with a hand in the air.

Becky didn't look worried. "7 000."

"8 000 credits," Duo yelped.

Becky leered. "10 000."

Shit! 8 000 was probably everything Duo owned.

"11 000," Duo choked out with the worst poker face in the history of mankind.

"12," she said with a smile.

Duo licked his lips. "12 and one Harley Davidson low rider classic."

Wufei blinked. Did Duo just offer off his motorcycle?

Sally seemed to be at a loss. "Uh, and how much is that worth?"

"I- It's custom made. About 10 000." Duo responded in a scratchy voice.

Wufei was actually pretty sure that it was worth more than that after all the work Duo had put into restoring it to its original glory, not to mention that there were not that many Harley Davidson motorcycles left now days.

"23 000." Becky replied calmly as she undressed Wufei with her eyes.

Jesus fucking Christ! Where did the woman get all that money? She must be getting the same amount of money as they got, if not less, since she didn't have field duty. But they sure as hell did not have that kind of money.

It looked like Duo had trouble breathing. "12 000, one Harley Davidson low rider classic and- and a two bedroom apartment."

Wufei's jaw dropped.

Sally looked about as shocked as the rest of them. There was a moment of complete silence in the large hall. "Uhmm, Duo, did you just offer off your apartment?"

Duo gave her a stiff nod.

"Well, that is dedication for you all, ladies. So if there are no more calls..." She gave Becky a sour look. The woman looked ready to argue, but her friends around her seemed to have ganged up on her.

"Sold, to Mr. Duo Maxwell for 12 000, credits, one Harley Davidson and a two bedroom apartment." She slammed the club down on the table in front of her.

Wufei startled to life from the sound and jumped off the stage. He hurried over to his friend who looked slightly ill. "Duo..."

Duo gave him a wide-eyed look. "Let's go." He rasped.

Wufei quietly followed the braided man through the crowd. The woman were cheering and clapping Duo on the back while giving Wufei looks that said that they knew exactly what was going on. Wufei wished that someone would share their knowledge because he had no idea. Friends did not give away all their savings, their transportation and their home to save a friend out on an embarrassing situation.

"You owe me big time for this," Duo said as they finally stepped out of the building. "Or actually," Duo took a shaky breath, "I need to borrow about 3 000 credits."

Wufei looked at his slumping friend. "Duo... what's going on? Why did you- You just can't- Why?"

Duo just shook his head and ignored the question. "I'm going to crash at your place for a while."

"Duo."

The other man sighed harshly. "No... just no. Not now, not ever, because if you haven't figured it out by now, then-" Another shaky breath, this one sounding like he was close to tears.

Wufei was stating to panic. Duo never cried, it was all wrong. "Duo, we'll fix it, I can talk to Quatre, he'll let us borrow us the money. You don't have to give away your bike or your apartment. Shit, your apartment! You love that place. Duo, what the hell is going on?!"

Duo rubbed his hands over his eyes. "God, you are so fucking stupid." Then he kissed him.

Wufei's brain shut down with the words 'does no compute' blinking before his eyes.

Duo pulled away. "Fuck, sorry. God fucking damn it!" He screamed out into the night. "I held back for years and one-" he cut himself off and gave Wufei's shocked face a quick look. "Forget about it, sorry. I'm-I'm just going to go now. I need to pack and-and I'll crash at one of Quatre's places, don't worry about it." With that he turned and hurried down the street as quickly as he could without running.

Wufei shook himself out of his paralyzed state. "Duo!"

He watched his friend stop in the middle of a step with his back stiff as a board.

Wufei licked his lips. "What time-What time is our date?"

Duo took a slow step towards him, then another, then another until they were standing right in front of each other. "I'm not doing anything right now," Duo said faintly.

Wufei found himself smiling. "Now works for me."

The grin that spread across Duo's face was like watching the sun rise. "Great, come on. Loise's should still be open."

Wufei frowned. "Loise's? But we eat lunch there just about every day."

Duo nodded and searched through his pockets. "Yeah, and that's why I have these," He said and held up two 'free meal' coupons. "Consider this to be the last thing that I'm going to be paying for in a very long time."

Wufei couldn't help but laugh.

The End

-.-:-:-:-:-:-:-

So this was the first Fiction cliché one-shot. There will be more.

The reason I'm writing this is because when I get stuck in my other fictions I need to write on something else to keep myself going.

Please tell me what you thought about it. Pleeeeease? –puppy eyes-

(Oh, and the vote on -first fiction to be finished, is still on if you feel like letting your voice be heard.)


	2. The Slave

Fanfiction cliché 2. The slave.

In which someone is a slave and someone owns him.

The slave

Wufei filled out another column as he inspected the sink in front of him. It was almost clean, had both cold and after a while, somewhat warm water. Satisfied, he nodded to himself before stepping out of the large cage and moving on to the next.

Wufei had never before taken part in the slave business, and he certainly never wanted to. The whole thing was something that most people stayed away from as far as they possibly could, not wanting to have their reputations destroyed.

The slave program had started as a way to take care of the crime wave that followed after the war since there were not enough prisons to hold all the sentenced criminals. So instead of serving time in a prison that would cost the government an endless amount of money, the criminals served their time as slaves in the hands of civilians. What was even better was that the civilian paid the government for it. It seemed like the perfect solution, but as in most things, human error stood in the way. Corruption, bribery accusations, rape and man's wish for revenge on former enemy soldiers had turned the whole project into a dirty affair that no self-respecting person would even want to get close to.

But unfortunately for Wufei, his boss had been short-staffed on the human rights section, so he was asked to do a standard check on one of the slave quarters. He was more or less just supposed to to make sure that no one was injured or unfed. It was an in-and-out job, or at least that's what he thought as he walked around the large metal cages, ignoring the bored-looking slaves in them.

"Hey! Wufei! Chang, over here!"

Wufei stopped and turned towards one of the cages located further away, to one that contained a wildly waving man.

"Maxwell?" He walked over to the cage.

His former fellow pilot grinned. "Shit, am I happy to see you. You have to get me out off here, man."

Wufei went slightly pale. "What? No, no way. Knowing you, you have gotten yourself into this"

"Oh, come on man, you have to buy me. Please." Duo begged.

Wufei shifted the heap of folders on his arm, looking both sides to make sure that no one saw him talking to the slave. "Hell no, I am not going to get my name in the slave owner register."

"You can't fucking leave me here." Duo hissed with a tight grip around the iron bars.

The Asian sighed. "I'll call Quatre... no, he can't get his name dirty, not after the pollution scandal last year. Heero is out, Trowa might do it. Yeah, I'll give him a call."

Duo looked towards the slave handler who had his back against them before reaching out, taking a hold of Wufei's suit and slamming him into the iron bars. Paper folders fell to the ground as Wufei braced himself against the cage.

The eyes of Shinigami glared at him, teeth bared in warning. "Now, you listen to me, Mr.-High-and-fucking-Mighty. I cannot afford to stay here much longer before god knows who buys my ass."

Wufei tried to get away, but Duo just pulled him back, making his head knock into the metal. "You owe me, or have you forgotten just who pulled you out of that swamp in Brazil?" he questioned with flashing eyes.

Wufei bowed his head in defeat. "Fine, but if I lose my job over this I'm going to blame you."

Duo snorted as he let him go. "It's not like it's illegal."

"No, I just work for a company that's actively working on making it illegal."

"Whatever, just get me out of here, Chang."

Wufei sighed and waved the slave handler over. "How much for the idiot?" He asked, ignoring Duo's angry 'Hey!'

The overweight man looked over at Duo and pushed his cap up further on his head. "For this one? 25."

Wufei lifted an eyebrow. "25 credits? That's not a bad deal."

The man laughed. "No, not 25. 25 000."

"WHAT?!" Wufei screamed and pointed over to the caged man. "You want 25 000 for this bastard?! I couldn't get half of that if I hacked him up and sold the pieces on the black market!"

The slave handler shrugged. "He's young, strong, but it' also for the damage he caused when he was caught."

Wufei glared over at Duo who had the decency to look slightly guilty.

"Fine. I need to make a few phone calls to get the money, but I'll take him."

"Pleasure doing business with you."

"Yeah, right." Wufei muttered.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Half an hour and two phone calls later, Wufei had debts up and over his ears and a new house slave.

He muttered angrily as he filled out all the papers that the slave handler had handed him. As he wrote his name under 'owner', he just knew that this was going to come back and bite him in the ass.

"This is yours." The man said and held up a metal bracelet "See this button here," he turned the ring to show Wufei the small round button on it. "If you release the safety here on the side and push this button, it's going to send a signal over to his collar. It will give his an electric shock, and the longer you press it, the higher the voltage. Just don't press it too long, or you'll fry the brain. It's a good sign to stop when they can't scream anymore." The man grinned, seemingly oblivious of Wufei's horrified look.

A door opened, and Duo stepped into the office, closely followed by a mean-looking guard. The braided man looked more then a little annoyed, but he didn't say anything as the guard led him over to the slave handler.

The overweight man took a hold of Duo's neck and forced him down on his knees. Duo must have been biting his tongue to stay quiet. But it wasn't hard to guess why, since Duo kept glancing at the stun gun hanging from the guard's belt just within his eye level.

The slave handler's big beefy hands closed a smooth round collar tightly around Duo's throat. "I hope you know what you are doing because this one is feisty." The handler grinned, taking a hold of Duo's braid and bending his head back as he leered down at him.

"Now, you are going to be nice to your new owner, won't you kitten? You don't want Uncle Arnold to find out that you have been bad, do you?" The large man cooed at Duo who glared back in disgust, something that just made the man laugh.

"He's not all that bright, so you have to steer him with a tight grip. Clear orders and instant punishment. He can take a lot of pain, so just keep frying him until he does what he's told." The bulky man said as he let go of Duo and turned to Wufei. With a quick easy move, the silver-colored bracelet closed around Wufei's wrist.

"Right." Wufei muttered. 'You better not run into Duo in a dark ally, Arnold, or you are so dead.' Wufei thought to himself as he watched hate burn in the eyes of the god of death.

"Enjoy your slave." The man said in a voice that indicated that he expected Wufei to do just that.

"Not likely." Wufei muttered as he walked out, closely followed by his new house slave.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Duo breathed in long and deep through his nose when they stepped out of the slave compound and onto the busy sidewalk.

"Shit, it feels like a whole different world on the other side of that wall." Duo said with a small smile.

Unfortunately, Duo's good mood did not last for long as a group of women hurried past them, all staring at Duo like he was something that they had scraped off the bottom of their stilettos. Words of repulse drifted past them, and Duo's eyes went dark and cold.

"Fuck, I need a burger. Come on." The braided man muttered as he zipped his leather jacket up as high as it would go, but the silver collar still stayed fully visible.

Wufei groaned as he followed the other man. "I hate those places. There is a restaurant just down the street that actually serves edible food."

"Shut up, Chang. I have been eating porridge for the last four months, I want my burger."

Wufei sighed as he decided to give Duo a break, if nothing else he could always spare himself the fight.

They walked over to the big colorful fast food restaurant, and Duo hurried with long steps over the counter.

"Yeah, I want two big-size cheeseburgers, large coke, large fries, large chocolate milkshake." He said, cutting the girls welcome speech off.

"Of course, your permission slip please."

Duo blinked. "My what?"

The girl looked embarrassed. "Uhm, standard procedure. We can't serve uhmm." She made an awkward motion over her throat."Without a permission slip from the owner."

Duo shook in anger as he clenched his fingers around the edge of the counter.

"It's okay, I'm right here."Wufei waved slightly, showing off the silver bracelet.

"Oh, sorry sir, didn't see you there. Anything else?" The girl asked with a relieved smile, clearly happy not to have to deal with the pissed off slave in front of her.

"A cup of coffee please," Wufei replied as he stepped forward to pay for the food.

A few minutes later, they got their order and sat down at a table in the mostly empty restaurant.

Duo was obviously still furious, but he wasn't too angry to eat, and eat he did.

Wufei stayed wisely quiet as he sipped his coffee.

It didn't take long before Duo was done devouring his food. Slurping on the last of his milkshake, Duo looked up at Wufei for the first time. "I want another burger."

Wufei gave him a look of disbelief. "You cannot still be hungry."

"Yes, I am. Get me another one, would you Chang?"

Wufei rolled his eyes. "Do it yourself."

Duo leered. "I can't... master."

Wufei cursed and got up. A few minutes later, he was back with another wrapped grease ball that Duo happily started to inhale.

"Wu, I need a napkin." The braided man said, waving his sticky fingers.

"Then get one." Wufei bit off. "You don't need a permission slip for that."

Duo made his eyes big and clueless. "But what would people think, having a collared man running around unsupervised in the middle of the restaurant?"

Wufei cursed once again and got to his feet.

Duo gave him a self-satisfied smile when Wufei got back to throw a bundle of napkins on the table.

"Thanks Wu. Get me another big fries would you?"

Wufei didn't even bother to curse, he just turned on his heal and walked towards the counter.

"Oh, and get me some coffee!" Duo shouted after him.

"Back already?" The girl smiled, and Wufei forced himself to smile back.

"Seams like it. One big fries and a cup of coffee, please."

"We know he has your permission, so you don't have to get up if he wants something else." The girl offered as she started pouring the coffee.

Wufei sighed. "Thank you, but he would just find another way to annoy me if I don't go."

"Oh... I just thought that you were supposed to... you know." She said vaguely, looking at Wufei's wrist.

Wufei let out an amused snort. "Let me tell you, that is not a man you would want to piss off more than necessary."

"Is he dangerous?" She asked in a low voice and gave Duo's back a frightened look.

Duo was more than a little dangerous, but not in the way she clearly thought. "No, I just don't want to wake up with pink hair." He accepted the coffee mug and the fries that the girl handed to him. "Not to mention that the whole thing is more than a little inhuman, and I wouldn't even do it to my worst enemy," he said, dropping the money on the counter with a glare. "Keep the change."

By the time Duo had finished his food, Wufei was more then ready to leave. The smell of greasy fast food and screaming children were starting to give him a headache.

"Wu, I need to go to the bathroom." Duo declared as he shoved his napkins down into the empty paper cup.

The Asian stared. "You can't be serious."

Duo innocently tilted his head to the side. "Well, what if someone stops me? Then what would I say?"

Wufei's headache became noticeably worse. "Fine, let's go. But if you tell me that you need help wiping I'm going to strangle you with that braid."

The threat was clearly not taken all that seriously as Duo happily bounced towards the restroom.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-

When they finally walked into Wufei's apartment building, he had had quite enough of Duo Maxwell. His headache was steadily growing worse, and Wufei got the feeling that it wouldn't go away until Duo did.

Wufei groaned and rubbed the sides of his head as they stepped in to the elevator. "How long am I stuck with you anyway?"

Duo leered. "Two years."

Wufei whimpered softly before he could stop himself.

Duo's leer stretched into an evil grin as he leaned back against the wall of the elevator, casually crossing his arms. "What? You didn't read the contract before you signed it?"

"I have some basic knowledge about the slave contracts contents," Wufei defended himself as he pushed the number of his floor a little too hard.

"Meaning that you just signed it." Duo snickered.

"If it wasn't for the fact that -someone- forced me, I wouldn't have signed it at all." Wufei angrily pointed out.

Duo uncrossed his arms and took a threatening step forward. "Well, you were going to fucking leave me in the slave pit!"

"I was not!" Wufei defended himself as he tightened his fists at the insult. "I was simply trying to keep my name out of the slave owner register that the people I work with handles! I can get fired over this!" He yelled, drowning out the elevator signal.

"Fuck you, Chang! You can get another job, but I could have gotten stuck with someone even worse then your stuck up ass!" Duo hissed as he marched past him, out the opening doors.

Feeling angrier then he had in years, Wufei walked right up to the other man. "I should beat the hell out of you!" He hollered, raising his hand to rub his acing head.

Duo suddenly whimpered as he hunched over like he was expecting to be hit. "I'm sorry master. I'll do better, I swear, please don't hurt me." He pleaded.

Wufei paused in the middle of the motion and blinked in surprise as he looked at the huddled shape in front of him. 'What the f-' was all he had time to think before he saw a movement in the corner of his eye. Turning slightly he saw the family living next door staring at him in disapproval.

Duo was sobbing softly with his arms up to protect his head, looking truly pathetic.

The father hurried his family into the elevator while glaring at Wufei like he was the scum of the universe. As the elevator doors closed he could hear the children question their father why Duo was crying.

Wufei turned and glared at the shaking form. He unlocked his apartment door before taking a hold of that braid and dragging the other man inside.

As soon as the door slammed close behind them, Duo broke into an almost manic laughter. "Oh God! Did you see their faces? You are not going to get invited to any parties to that house ever again."

Wufei clenched his fists as he talked himself out of decapitating the other with his sword.

"Hey, nice place you got here Wu." Duo walked around the apartment, looking at everything with great interest. "So, what have you been doing nowadays?" Duo asked as he carelessly lifted an expensive Ming vase to look at the bottom.

Wufei held his breath until the other man put it back down. "I work at a human rights agency, space cooperation section."

"Oooo, fancy. I take it that your fellow do-goodys wouldn't like to hear about your new little house slave, now would they?"

Wufei shifted his jaw. "No, and that is why I would appreciate if you do not pull anymore of those stunts that you did in front of my neighbors ever again."

"Mmmmaybe." Duo teased as he dragged his fingers through the miniature Zen garden standing on the coffee table, leaving deep ditches in the white sand. Wufei felt that he could relate to the garden because every word Duo uttered seamed to have a similar affect on his headache.

Duo pulled his fingers out and brushed the sand off, making them fall over the clean table. "You live alone or what?"

"Yes," Wufei answered trying not to think about his ex. That lying bastard could burn in hell, not to mention that there were no way Wufei was going to return the 'Wild west' movie box to him.

"Not anymore." Duo said brightly before he sauntered down the hallway.

Wufei closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pounding in his head.

"Oooooh, silk." he heard Duo's voice say from inside his bedroom.

"God, I need a drink." Wufei muttered, rubbing his acing head. Walking over to a rarely used whiskey bottle standing on the kitchen counter next to the cooking vine and the pepper mill, Wufei pored himself a generous amount.

"Hey, where do I sleep?" Duo called out.

"Guest room, the door at the end of the hall." He told him in a resigned voice. There really was no way to win when Duo was involved.

The sound of Duo's feet disappeared further into the apartment. "Awww, but I want silk sheets too." Duo complained loudly, making Wufei grimacer over the pain the sound caused in his head. He needed painkillers for this.

He still had a bottle left from last year when he had broken his wrist. He recalled it was standing in the cupboard, and Wufei shook two pills out in the palm of his hand. "There are more of them in the second closet in my bedroom."

He wondered if he really should take these pills with alcohol. But the again, he couldn't possibly feel any worse than this. He raised his glass and washed the pills down with what was left of his whiskey. How the hell was he going to survive this? He had only met Duo a handful of times since the end of the war, and he could not, for the life of him, remember Duo being this annoying. He dragged himself over to the sofa, hoping that it would swallow him as he fell head first into the soft pillows. He closed his eyes. Maybe he could just fall asleep for a second. He might not wake up to find that the whole thing had been a nightmare, but if he was lucky then perhaps things wouldn't seem so bad.

"Hey Wu, your bed is nicer."

"Then take it," he grumbled into the pillows.

This was going to be the two longest years of his life.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Later, when he finally was alone in the guest room, he sat on the bed and pulled the papers that the slave handler had given him out of his briefcase, reading through them slowly. There were a bunch of rules on how often and for what reasons one could use the discipline button and how often the slave had the right to fresh air, sleep and food. Some things were just common sense, while some just made his skin crawl. But one thing was interesting. He apparently had the right to have Duo sent to a high security prison on one of the moons after 10 percent of Duo's sentence time, if he wanted to.

Wufei leaned back against the wall with a thoughtful sound. He wondered if he could threaten Duo with that. But knowing Duo, things would only get worse.

On the fifth page, he finally found the part he was looking for. Duo's long list of crimes took up three full pages, ranging from smuggling, petty theft and destroying public property to- Wufei lifted his eyebrows - indecent exposure on historical monument.

The sentence was to be demoted to a slave for -twenty years!!!-

Wufei suddenly had a hard time breathing. But of course, Duo would tease him and let him believe that they were only going to get stuck together for two years when they in fact were going to be celebrating their fortieth birthdays together! Wufei groaned as he kissed goodbye to his privacy, his sanity and his sex life for the next -twenty years-.

There was no way that he could ever bring anyone home with him. What was he supposed to say? Oh, just ignore the snickering idiot in the corner?

He could see it now. He brings home some guy he met, and when things start to get heated, Duo runs in, pretending that he's Wufei's lover, acting like he's been betrayed or something as outrageous.

God. Twenty years of living with Duo Maxwell. He wondered if he could find some loop hole in the law so that he could rent the apartment next door and have Duo live there. If he just cut down on a few luxuries like his imported tea, his growing movie collection and heat, he should be able to support them both on his salary.

He just really hoped that no one at work would ever find his name in the slave owner register. More than one of his co-workers were members of the anti-slave movement, and he was seriously going to get fired, if not lynched.

"It's okay, he's not really my slave. He's an old war comrade who can't keep his fingers away from other people's property." Yeah, some might believe him, but the rest of co-workers who already disliked him because he had fought in the war would crucify him.

Wufei groaned and shoved all the papers into the empty nightstand by the bed, not wanting to think about the mess anymore than he had to. He just hoped that some sleep would make him feel better.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Wufei didn't know what woke him up. He just knew that it was dark, and that what ever it was that woke him up was poking him in the head.

"Hey Wu."

"Mmm." Wufei groaned. Couldn't the braided idiot even leave him alone during the night?

"I want ice cream." Duo announced happily.

Wufei couldn't even begin to question why he wanted ice cream in the middle of the night. "I don't have any." He grumbled and lifted the cover up over his head.

"Get me some?"

´Fuck no´ The man was clearly insane if he thought Wufei was getting out of bed, especially when he had work the next day, just to get him ice cream. "No."

"Please? I can't go on my own, please maaaster? Pleeeeease?"

"No."

"Please?"

"One hundred of bottles of beer on the wa-"

"I'm going." Wufei hissed as he threw the covers off himself.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Tired as hell, Wufei walked in to the office building. Duo had more or less kept him awake all night, and the only thing that stopped him from seriously injuring the evil bastard was the presence of his neighbors. Rumors about Wufei's purchase had spread, and it was obvious that they did not trust Wufei to treat his new slave right. Several people had been dropping in to borrow some sugar or flour, and every time they made a loud noise, his next door neighbor would knock threateningly on the wall. Wufei felt like he was walking on eggshells all day and all night. His paranoia grew even more as he went to work, and he kept expecting someone to jump at him and demand an explanation as to why he had gotten himself a slave.

"Hey Chang, how did it go yesterday?" His boss asked as he poked his head in through the doorway of Wufei's office.

Feeling cold sweat make its way down his back, Wufei tried to sound casual. "Yesterday?"

"Yeah, with the assignment."

Wufei breathed out a small sigh in relief. "Fine, just fine. One of the showers had mold but according to the o-" he stumbled on the word "-owner, they were going to take care of it."

"Good, good. Nasty business that. I can't believe the bastards who actually buy other people like cattle. It just makes you sick to see."

Wufei swallowed awkwardly. "Yeah, sick."

"But we are getting closer to the end of it every day. Then all those greedy fuckers are going to get what's coming for them." The man grinned brightly. "Well, good job, give your report to me at the end of the week."

"Yes sir," Wufei replied faintly as his boss turned and closed the door behind him, leaving Wufei alone with his thoughts and his fears.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-

When he finally got home, he was met by a strong chemical smell and blasting music. For a second Wufei just wanted to close the door and ignore whatever it was that was waiting for him in there. But refusing to be a coward, he fished up a handkerchief from his pocket and put it over his mouth as he hurried inside. He quickly went over to a closed window to open it. Not satisfied with the amount of air coming in, he opened the rest, too. Taking a deep breath of fresh air, he turned to follow the sound of music.

Duo, who obviously found the box of spray cans that Wufei had once used on his bike, was in the middle of painting some kind of abstract art on the living room wall.

Wufei's briefcase dropped to the floor as he stared with his jaw wide open.

Duo took off his breathing mask and looked at him from where he was painting what looked like a mushroom on top of a socket.

"Hey Wu! What do you think?! The room was so plain that I thought it needed a bit of color!" The braided man shouted over the loud music.

Wufei really regretted that he painted some orange details on the tank of his bike. Since the can had been mostly full, it was the color that Duo used the most. Trying not to think what his landlord would say about Duo's project, Wufei stared at the mass of shapes stretched over the wall. He wondered if there was any point in being angry with Duo, or if he even had the strength to try. Probably not, and it would just end up with a pissed off American moping around his apartment, doing everything to make a pest out of himself. Not that Duo even had to try.

He tilted his head. It kind of looked like a crocked sunset. He could probably grow to like it. If he tried really hard. But this was something that he was, under no circumstances, going to tell Duo. God knows what he would do if he thought that he had his permission.

Instead he simply sighed loudly and went to make dinner, hoping that this was enough adventure for today.

-:-:-:-:-:-

The second night, Wufei managed to get almost two hours of sleep before the bed dipped, waking him up.

"Hey Wu."

Wufei ignored him. Maybe if he pretended that he was dead, Duo would leave him alone. "Wu? Wu-wu? Wully? Wuffsy? Wu-pie? W-"

"What?!" So much for that idea. It was obvious that Duo spent all day sleeping while he was at work. How else could he manage to be so alert all night?

"Want to see my mobile?"

"I don't give shit about your phone, let me sleep."

Duo bounced on his knees, making the mattress jump. "No, not that kind of mobile, the kind that kids have. I made my own and hung it in front of the window so when the sun hits it, it's going to be really pretty."

Wufei just stared. "You are insane. You really are. Now go away and let me sleep."

"Aww, but come see my mobile, please master."

Wufei pulled the cover over his head. "Stop calling me that, and NO, go away."

There was a loud crash, and Wufei looked over to Duo who was calmly dropping ornaments on the floor. "No! Master! Please don't!" Duo sobbed, dropping a picture frame to the floor.

"Fine." Wufei hissed as he rolled out of bed, carefully avoiding the sharp pieces on the floor.

Duo grinned happily as he bounced ahead into the living room.

The first thing Wufei noticed was that his entire movie collection had been pulled out from its shell, and the second was Duo's "mobile."

Wufei swayed. There, hanging from the ceiling were all the shinny memory cards containing his movies, all with small holes drilled into them, making them totally useless.

Wufei's anger exploded. "When I get a hold of you, I'm going to kill you!" He screamed as he turned towards the other man.

Duo just snickered as he sprinted through the apartment with Wufei close behind. So furious that he could hardly see straight, Wufei picked up his Ming vase and threw it at Duo just as the other was about to slip out the open front door. The vase hit Duo in the shoulder, and Wufei grinned at Duo's yelp.

The grin died when there was a loud crash, closely followed by the unmistakable sound of someone falling down the stairs.

For a heart stopping moment Wufei just knew that he had killed him. 'God, please no.' He ran out the door and over to the stairs where a painful groan meet him. He had never felt so happy in his life to hear Duo's complaining voice.

"Are you alright?" He asked worriedly as he hurried down.

Duo nodded unhappily from where he was lying at the bottom of the stairs.

Wufei sighed. "Come on, let's get you back inside."

Duo was clearly embarrassed as he let Wufei help him up on his feet, or foot more exactly, since his left ankle was banged up pretty badly.

Several of his pajamas-dressed neighbors were peeking from their doorways, and Wufei just knew that he was going to be the talk of the neighborhood for years to come.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

The next day at work was a disaster. Wufei was even more paranoid than before, and the lack of sleep only made it worse. He kept looking over his shoulder, spacing out during conversations and when the copy machine made a hundred and ten copies instead of ten without him noticing, Wufei decided to just sit at his desk and pretend to work.

When he got home, the apartment was quiet. Taking a step back, he checked the number on the door just to be sure. Yes, this was his apartment. Duo's shoes were kicked off further in so the other man was obviously still in there. He walked slowly through his apartment, checking for traps or ambushes, but nothing. The door to his bedroom was closed so, Wufei could only guess that Duo was still sleeping.

Deciding that he really should be doing the same when he had the chance, Wufei headed for the guest room. He was just about to close the door behind him when the doorbell rang.

He sighed loudly, hoping that it was just a salesman that he could just slam the door on.

Unfortunately for him, that was not the case. Outside his door stood a tall stylish man dressed in a spotless suit.

"Hallo, I'm John Sederowsky I'm from the STI, Slave treatment inspection."

Wufei blinked, feeling slightly stupid for being surprised. His company HSCS often worked side by side with the STI on cases concerning slaves, so he knew their procedures.

"Of course, come in." Wufei stepped to the side to let the man in. He led him into the living room, and they sat down on the couch.

"So,where is-" The brunet looked down on his papers. "Mr. Maxwell?"

"Uhm, sleeping." He hoped.

"Well, I suppose that we can start off without him." The man made himself comfortable as he got several forms out.

"So, what kind of duties does he have?"

Wufei tried to remember if there were any rules that the slave had to have duties. But after all, this was supposed to be a punishment, not a holiday.

"Uhm, different things like..." Wufei's tired brain desperately tried to come up with something that wasn't 'he's destroying my life.'

Just then, Duo limped out the master bedroom, dressed only in a pair of Wufei's too large boxers that was hanging off his slim hips. He was covered in bruises, and his long hair was ruffled beyond anything ever seen before. Even to Wufei he looked like he had taken part in some too rough sex that he barely gotten out of alive.

John gave Wufei a grim look of disapproval.

Wufei wondered if there was any chance at all that the inspector would believe him if he told him that Duo had fallen down the stairs, and that they were in fact not sleeping together.

Duo didn't spare the two men a glance as he limped towards the kitchen. That Wufei felt himself blushing probably didn't help his case.

"You will be hearing from us shortly," John said, snapping his briefcase closed before marching out from the apartment.

Wufei groaned and thumped his head against the back of the couch. He knew that most slave violation reports went unresolved, but with his luck, this would be the exception.

"You couldn't have done that better if you had done it on purpose," Wufei grumbled.

Duo leaned his hip against the kitchen counter."What makes you think I didn't?" With that he picked up his cereal bowl and walked -without limping- back to the bedroom.

Wufei wanted to scream, to rant endlessly and strangle the man with his own hair. Instead he took a deep breath and locked himself in the bathroom to meditate. He felt that he needed it.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

The third night, Wufei got only one hour and forty-five minutes of sleep before the bed dipped.

"Nooo, have mercy." He whimpered into his pillow.

"Death shows no mercy," was the response, and Wufei wondered if maybe it would be worth whatever punishment he got for killing Duo.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Work was just one big blur, and Wufei could not for the life of him remember what he had done all day except for the fact that he had fallen asleep at his desk several times.

He decided that Duo was probably feeling trapped and bored, a very dangerous combination for the people around him. Wufei knew Duo craved freedom. So the first thing he did after work was to get Duo a permission slip for everything he could, hoping that it would be some kind of peace offering.

It didn't work.

Duo did not say a word. He just glared at Wufei before storming away to the kitchen where he got his hands on every single knife Wufei owned. He then placed all the couch pillows on top of each other and started target practicing on them.

Wufei, who under normal circumstances would have been more then a little upset over this, was simply happy that Duo wasn't using him as a target, especially when he noticed that the pile of pillows was just as tall as he was. Ignoring the cushion stuffing all over the floor, Wufei escaped into the guest room, hopping to get just a little sleep before Duo noticed that he was missing.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Groggy from the lack of sleep, Wufei dragged his feet into the kitchen.

´Coffee.' Was the only thought that entered his sleep-deprived mind. After opening two wrong cupboards, Wufei finally found the coffee mugs where they had been placed since he first moved in three years ago.

The coffee machine was on a timer and started up on its own. Wufei couldn't help but sink down to the kitchen table. He stared at the black drops in longing. He did not know how he was going to manage to work after another sleepless night.

He just wanted to sleep, was that too much to ask? Wufei put his head down on the table. He might just be able to sleep for ten minutes, by then his coffee would be done. Crossing his arms on the table he put his head down. Two blissful minutes later he was startled out of sleep as Duo slammed his fist down on the table, making both Wufei and his mug jump.

"Press it already before I lose my mind!" Duo screamed, his eyes wide in rage.

Far too tired and confused to respond, Wufei simply stared.

"Push it!" Duo demanded as he leaned over the table, glaring down at Wufei. When Wufei didn't respond he grabbed a hold of Wufei's mug and threw it across the room, making it shatter against the wall.

Wufei tried to get angry, but just then the light went out on the coffee machine, informing Wufei that salvation was here.

'Mug gone. Need new.' He thought as he shuffled his way past the fuming man and got another mug down from the cupboard.

"You fucking bastard! Do it! Do it! Do it! I know you want to, so just DO IT!!!"

Wufei, for a crazy second, wondered if Duo wanted him to 'do him.' He wouldn't have minded, he was just far too tired to have any contact with his cock.

Wufei blinked slowly. "What?" he asked before his attention steered towards the coffee pot.

Duo twitched and grabbed a hold of the full coffee pot and threw it to the ground, ignoring how the burning hot liquid soaked the bottom of his pants.

The crashing sound might as well have been the sound of Wufei's heart breaking.

'Nooooo, coffee.' Wufei thought desperately, wanting to get down on his knees in front of the puddle and cry in sorrow.

"Push it, just do it. Get it over with, I can't live like this anymore, just push it!" Duo just about begged.

"Push what?" Wufei mumbled unhappily, still clinging to his empty mug.

"The button! The fucking metal thing on your arm you idiot, push it!"

Wufei glanced down at the innocent looking bracelet with a frown. "Why?"

Duo looked close to tears."I need to know, I can't go on like this! It's driving me mad."

Wufei was too tired to question why Duo wanted to be electrocuted, he just unsnapped the safety and pressed the button.

Duo yelped and brought his hands up to the collar. "That tickled. For god's sake, push it like you mean it. I know you want to, I know you've been wanting to do it all week."

A small light slowly went on in Wufei's head. "Wait... you did it on purpose? The wall and the- everything. Why? Why would you do that?"

Duo broke down. "I just needed to know, everyone has their limit, I just wanted, -needed- to know where yours were. How much I could do before you snapped and took it out on my ass."

"Baka. I wasn't going to use it." He grumbled with a half-hearted glare."Now, no more destroying my life, I'm going back to bed." Wufei declared.

Muttering to himself about stupid Americans he made his way back into the guest room and crawled back on top of the bed.

"If I wanted to take it out on his tight ass I would have used my cock." Wufei mumbled as he pulled the cover over himself.

"Umm..." Was heard from the door way, informing Wufei that yes, he had said that part louder then he had intended.

Wufei turned his head towards the voice.

Duo was leaning awkwardly against the door frame. "So... how long have you swung that way?" He asked in fake nonchalance.

Deciding that he was far too tired to care what Duo thought, Wufei jawed and answered him. "Since always."

"Oh... soooo, want to take it out on my ass?"

Wufei closed his eyes, opened them again, closed them, opened them just to make sure that yes, Duo was still there, he wasn't hallucinating. "Love to, but I'm too fucking tired right now."

"Right... I'll just call in sick for you."

Wufei was going to give his approval, but he was already asleep. He woke up again when the bed dipped. "Duo?" He asked in dread. What did the mad man want now?

A warm body moved close under the cover. "Your bed is nicer than mine."

"You already have my bed." Wufei pointed out.

The bed cover rustled as Duo made himself comfortable. "This one is better."

"Then why did you want mine?" Wufei grumbled, holding onto his pillow, just in case Duo would try to take it away from him.

"Because it was better then."

"That doesn't make any sense at all." He complained.

"It was better for two or three days, than it stopped smelling like you."

Wufei closed his eyes tightly. "...Duo, shut the fuck up, lie still and let me sleep because if you get me hard right now, I will press that button until your head explodes."

"Right, good night then... master."

-:-:-:-:-:-

AN-

Damn, Duo just have to get the last word XD

Please, if it´s not too much to ask for, could you leave me a review? I really would like to know what you thought about it.


	3. Duo's eating habits

Fanfiction cliché - Gundam wing special

Duo´s eating habits

In which Duo´s eating habits plays a large part in the story

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Duo learned early on to never trust sweets. They might taste like heaven but they always came with a price.

The first piece of candy he ever tasted was a small mint flavored pill that had filled him with awe as it melted on his tongue. He had never tasted anything like it and he was instantly hocked. When the man who gave it to him told him that he had more inside his apartment, Duo followed him without question.

It was a mistake he never made again.

The second piece was given to him by a boy who he considered to be a friend. But even friends did not offer candy to you without a price. Duo spent five days selling off all the drugs that his friends left to him in exchange. He almost got shot down by the mob who thought he was moving in on their territory.

No. Candy never came without a price, no matter who offered.

So when Wufei Chang, one of the pilots who were going through the gundam training program with him, offered him one right out of the bag he was more than a little tentative to accept it. Duo had not spoken much to the other boy during the week since he arrived on the large ship and he couldn't say that he knew much about him.

He kind of knew Heero since before, Quatre became a friend after just a few minutes and with him came Trowa who might not speak all that much but was still a nice guy to be around. But Wufei was another matter. The solemn boy seemed to mostly keep to himself and the few times that Duo had spoken to him were after he almost forced himself close to the other boy. This was actually the first time that Wufei acknowledged him voluntarily.

The two of them were standing in a narrow corridor outside the nurse's office, waiting for their turn to take their medical examination when Wufei for some reason held out the tempting bag before him.

"What?" Duo asked, eyeing the red and see-through bag in the boy's hand.

"Do you want one?" Wufei asked like it was obvious.

Duo felt his mouth starting to water. "Why are you offering one to me?" He asked, letting the 'and what do you want for it' hang silently in the air.

Wufei looked a little taken aback and his stretched out hand faltered slightly. "I guess that I'm trying to be polite, but if you don't want one." He pulled his arm back before fishing one out of the bag, making the plastic rustle.

Duo followed the movement. He wanted one, he really did. But the question was if it would be worth it to pay whatever price Wufei wanted for it.

Wufei lifted a sugar covered blue piece out of the bag before dropping it in his open mouth. Some of the sugar got stuck on his lower lip and Duo found himself wanting to lick it off just for a chance to taste that candy.

"I want one." He confessed, signing a deal with the devil. Or maybe devil was a bit too strong, because from what he had seen of the other pilot in the week since he left the Sweepers, Wufei did not appear to be a cruel person and he probably wouldn't want anything too bad. He hoped.

Wufei held out the bag again and this time Duo carefully dipped his hand down into the candy bag, taking a hold of one of the soft pieces and lifting it up. He turned it over, looking at it in fascination. It was bright green and shaped like what he assumed was an animal. He had no idea what kind it was since his knowledge about animals didn't go further then cockroaches and rats.

"So are you going to eat it or just look at it?" Wufei asked as he leaned back against the gray steal wall.

Duo for a quick second wondered if Wufei had done something to it but he dismissed the thought, he say Wufei eat from the bag with his own eyes.

Making a decision he lifted the green sweet up to his mouth. Slowly he opened his mouth and bit off a small piece of it, making it fall into his mouth. He picked it up with his tongue and rolled it around. The taste was amazing; Duo had never experienced anything like it. It was sweet, but at the same slightly sour. The contrast was mind-blowing and Duo closed his eyes as he released a low happy moan at the taste. He pushed it up against the back of his teeth and licked it, over and over again until there was nothing left.

He bit another small piece off, enjoying it to the fullest. As the second piece melted away against his tongue, his eyes meet Wufei's.

Wufei looked amused, and on his face were a small smile, the first Duo had ever seen on him.

"So are you going to nibble that all day or what?"

"Have to make it last." Duo responded. Anything else would be stupid.

"You could just have another one." Wufei offered, holding out the bag.

Fear spread in Duo's chest and he stepped back quickly. "No thank you, one is enough." He wouldn't want to owe Wufei more than necessary.

The Asian looked at him strangely, making Duo feel like he was chased into an ally with no way out. He had to get away.

"We'll take the terms later; I'll be in my cabin." Duo said sharply before escaping, ignoring that he had to take a medical examination in a few minutes.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Well back in the metal box that was his cabin, Duo got down on his knees in front of his bed and reached in under it. He fumbled tor a moment before his fingers closed around a smooth handle. Pulling it, a large metal chest soon appeared in the light from the fluorescent lamp with a scraping noise. It was old and rusty but the large steel bolts and the combination lock on it were new.

Practiced fingers quickly pressed in the long code, releasing the heavy lock. The hinge screeched as Duo opened the lid and revealed his greatest wealth.

The chest was filled with a large amount of goods. A old banged up laptop, a small dried leaf from a dandelion -the only living plant that Duo had ever seen, a couple of keyboard keys on a string, a broken toy ship, a few pages from a bible, several small pieces of glass in different colors and many other mismatching objects.

He carefully picked up an empty jar, unscrewing it before dropping what was left of the green candy piece down into it. It made a low clacking noise as it hit the bottom. With a pleased smile he put the jar down with the rest of his treasures.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

A few days later, Wufei had still not told him what he wanted for the candy and Duo was getting worried. It wasn't that Wufei wasn't a nice guy, it was just that he hated to not know what the terms were.

But Duo did what he did best, he ignored that anything was wrong and tried to be as happy as he could. Quatre was great company and Duo found himself surprised that he could connect so well with someone who had lived such a different life from him. Trowa on the other hand was someone he could relate to. The boy didn't really know who he was or where he came from, he just tried to do the best he could with what he had. Heero… Heero was a tough one. Duo really didn't know what to think about him most of the time, but he was fun to tease, that was for sure.

Heero had not been around all that much lately. Dr J was running him through some kind of special training, but whatever it was that they made him do, it made him come back just a little bit colder and a little bit more mission focused. It was kind of scary to see.

Wufei was still more or less a mystery. He didn't know much about him, just that he seemed to detest company. It was difficult to talk to him, not only because Japanese was the only language that they spoke somewhat fluently, but because Duo didn't know what they could talk about. Wufei made no move to get to know him and Duo was feeling a bit lost. He never meet anyone who he couldn't talk to before and it was frustrating him to no end.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

It was a week since Duo accepted the green piece of candy when temptation came over him again.

He was coming down the narrow metal stairs from where he had been running around the track on the top floor hangar. Duo pried himself with being a great runner, you had to be if you wanted to survive on the streets of L2, and he made sure to keep himself in top condition. Not having to run for your life was not an excuse to slack off.

His legs were shaking from the hard run and he leaned heavily against the banister while roughly drying the sweat away his face with his free hand. His heavy steps echoed with a metallic clinking as he slowly made his way down the stairs. He might have taken his training a bit too far that day but since he had, he was going slow enough that he didn't miss the slight movement coming from under the stairs. He paused and hunched down slightly to look in between the steeps. Startled brown eyes looked back at him.

Duo blinked in surprise. "Hey."

"Hey." Wufei echoed.

Four more steps and Duo reached the bottom and walked around the metal stairs to look in under it.

Wufei looked strangely vulnerable where he was sitting against the wall with an open book in his lap and a Chinese style jacked hanging over his shoulders. An almost empty water bottle and a small plastic bag stood next to his thigh giving Duo a feeling that Wufei had been sitting there for awhile. The light from the fluorescent lights shone in between the stair steps, casting shadows and pale light over the boy. Wufei really was pretty, like he should have been made of plastic and Duo couldn't help but stare.

Wufei ducked his head slightly, making his for once lose hair hide his face.

Duo hesitated with a hand on the stair. "Can I come in?"

Wufei gave him a slight nod without lifting his eyes from his fingers that were stroking the edge of the book in a nervous gesture.

Duo didn't really know why he didn't just leave Wufei alone since it was obvious that the other boy wanted nothing else. Instead he crawled in, watching his head carefully, not wanting to ram it into the sharp edges of the stairs. He sat down next to Wufei, leaning back against the cold steel wall. There was a long heavy silence as Duo rubbed a lose bolt on the underside of the stairs, making it shift from side to side. "So why the stairs?" He asked, awkwardly as he dropped his hand down in his lap.

Wufei shrugged and pushed his hair in behind his ear. "My room is just under the kitchen, there is too much noise there during the day to read in peace."

"Oh." Duo pulled his knees up against his chest as he glanced down on the open book in Wufei's lap. He recognized a few symbols that he didn't know what they meant but he could tell that it wasn't Japanese. He wanted to ask Wufei what he was reading but he didn't dare to. His presence probably bothered Wufei enough as it was without adding stupid questions. Duo didn't know anything about books. Apart from a few chapters from the bible, Duo had never had the chance to read a real book and he had no doubt that anything he said would make him sound like an idiot. Duo leaned his temple against his raised knee, looking at the Asian in the corner of his eye. Wufei didn't seem like the type of guy who would have a lot of patience for an uneducated homeless thief.

He closed his eyes to rest for a moment. The sweat on his body was turning cold, making him shiver just a little bit. The floor was more or less freezing and he shifted in discomfort. He should leave, take a shower and get ready for the infiltration lesson later that day, but for some reason he couldn't make himself walk away.

There was a rustle of plastic and Duo opened his eyes to stare right into a candy bag. It wasn't the same one as before, he could tell. The candy in this bag was all covered in a layer of soft white powder. The sweet smell of them drifted over to him, making his mouth instantly start to water.

"Do you want one?" Wufei asked with a shadow of a smile on his lips.

Duo stared at the bag in both longing and horror. He really, really wanted one but he didn't dare to make his depth any bigger than it already was, especially since he still didn't know what Wufei wanted for them.

He just hopped that he didn't want money because he didn't have a single credit to his name, just a box of junk and the clothes on his back.

"No thank you." He forced himself to say.

"Are you sure? They are raspberry flavored."

Duo didn't know how a raspberry tasted but he sure wanted to find out. Duo found himself hesitating. One more probably wouldn't make much difference in the end. He looked over at Wufei and wondered if the other boy would tell him what he wanted for them if he asked. But no, Wufei didn't answer him the first time so he most likely wouldn't answer him the second time. Duo did not want to embarrass himself by appearing scared and insecure. It was enough that everyone here thought he was an idiot. To get a reputation of being a scared idiot was just too much for him to handle. So, as if to prove both to himself and to Wufei, that he was not afraid of whatever the other boy had in store for him, he dipped his hand down into the plastic bag.

He lifted a soft, red, sugar covered piece out of the bag.

Curious about the powder, Duo licked it. The layer melted against his tongue and he couldn't help but smile happily as the sweet taste spread in his mouth. Holding the piece between two fingers, Duo licked it again and again. He licked it until there was a small crater in the middle of the piece and his fingers were wet and sticky.

He looked over at Wufei who with wide eyes stared at the candy in his hand. The Asian startled as their eyes meet, clearly embarrassed for some reason.

Duo felt awkward and he didn't know what he had done wrong this time. This always happened. He didn't know how many cultural mistakes he had done since he left L2, but there were many of them.

"Sorry." He mumbled, not knowing what he was apologizing for, but hopping that it would be enough. "I'll leave you alone." He got to his feet as quickly as he could, barely managing not to hit his head on the underside of the stairs.

He heard Wufei start to say something, but when no words came, Duo hurried away. He steered his steps towards his cabin. He had a new treasure to put in his box.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

After living in constant worry over his dept to Wufei for almost a month, Duo finally snapped.

He found Wufei sitting at one of the orange painted aluminum tables in the food quarter. Spread across the surface was different kinds of cleaning instruments, rags and in a neat row on top of a towel were Wufei's impressive collection of handguns. Duo who would love to get his hands on one of those pretty toys ignored them in favor of glaring at their owner.

"So what do you want?"

Wufei looked up from where he was checking the pipe on the shiny gun in his hand. "Want? What, like what do I want with my life or, what I want to do today?" He asked slowly as he released the slide, making it snap back into place on top of the barrel.

"No." Duo bit off, not appreciating that he was being treated like an idiot. "I want to know what you want from me, in exchange for the candy you gave me."

Wufei gave him a strange look before turning his attention back to the gun. "I don't want anything for it." The Asian mumbled.

"God damn it, stop playing games and just tell me!" He demanded angrily before kicking the table leg, making Wufei's equipment jump.

Wufei snatched an oil tube up before it could roll off the table. Clearly annoyed, Wufei glared up at him. "For the love of the ancestors, Maxwell I don't want anything for them. It was just candy from a vendingmaskin. It's not like I gave you a kidney."

Duo looked at him in suspicion, trying to figure out what was going on. One did not give away candy just like that. Wufei must clearly have an alternate motive; the question was just what it was. Maybe it was bigger than just the candy; it might not even be about the candy at all. Maybe Wufei was planning something big, something that he needed allies for. Duo wanted to know what it was all about, but he could tell that whatever it was that Wufei were planning, he wouldn't tell him until it was time to cash in. Be as it must, but right now it was all about the candy and how he was going to get his hands on another one.

"So you don't want anything in return for them." He asked slowly, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Wufei rolled his eyes with a sigh. "No."

"So if I decide to take one out of the bag here…" He trailed off with a nod towards the blue plastic bag that was carelessly dropped further away from the gun parts.

"I'd tell you to go right ahead, there is only vanilla flavored pieces left and I hate those." The boy said softly as he picked up another gun piece.

Duo gave Wufei a long searching look before slowly, very slowly edging towards the wrinkled bag lying at the edge of the table. Without taking his eyes of Wufei he reached out to carefully stick his hand into the bag. Wufei who was putting his gun back together didn't spare him a glance. Quickly, he snacked a shiny white piece out of the bag before turning on his heal, making his long braid swing as he sprinted away as fast as he could.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Duo was breathing heavily as he locked the cabin hatch behind him. Adrenaline was pumping like mad through his body making him shudder and shake. He had a strange metallic taste in his mouth, almost like he would have bitten his tongue, even thou he knew that he done no such thing.

Leaning back heavily against the hatch he slides down to the floor of his cabin with his knees up against his chest.

He could hardly believe that he had actually done it, he took one, he took one right before Wufei's eyes! The other boy didn't appear to be upset with him, in fact, it almost seemed like he encouraged Duo to take one, claiming that he didn't like them.

Faking disinterest was an old trick that even a rookie pocket picker would be able to spot but Wufei had appeared to be sincere. Duo had been suspicious but still somewhat confident that Wufei was not out to harm him. But as soon as his fingers closed around that little piece of candy, Duo had panicked.

Sinking to the floor with the cold metal behind his back, Duo opened his sweaty palm and stared down at his price.

The shiny top layer had mostly melted from the moister of his hand but the candy still looked whole and clean. Using a single finger, Duo stroke the piece, making it slide slightly across his palm. It would probably taste incredible, he just knew it. But for some reason he could not bring himself to eat it.

Crawling on his knees over the short distance to the bed he reached in under it with his free hand and dragged the worn metal box out, making a few new scratches on the floor. Unlocking the hatches and pressing in the ten number combination on the look he opened it and sat down in front of the rusty case. Sweeping his eyes over his belongings he settled on the plastic jar with the faded words 'Old Tom's rimmed beef' standing in the top right corner. Taking the jar out he used his bent knee to hold it steady while one handedly unscrewing the lid. The lid was placed on his thigh as he held the see-through jar up under his nose. The sweet smell of candy invaded his nose and Duo sniffed it happily until his nose got used to it, making it less overwhelming. The white, slightly sticky sweet was carefully lowered down in to place next to the half eaten green one and the red licked one. He arranged them in a neat row in the middle jar before respectfully fastening the lid back one. Holding it up in eye level, Duo admired his colorful treasures. And to him it really was a treasure, his very own sweets. Duo put the jar back down, making sure that it was standing properly and wouldn't tip over before closing the chest with great care, locking it in safely.

Lifting his palm up he flicked his tongue over the sticky mess on it. It was a strange taste, like nothing else he had ever tasted before. There was a sort of sting to it, like it just demanded your attention. He really liked it and decided that the white flavor was going to be his favorite from now on. He fantasist about putting the whole piece in his mouth. He would roll it around in his mouth, moving it around with his tongue, playing with it. Suck it hard. Make it melt in his mouth. Mmmm. Duo sucked a sticky finger into his mouth with a happy moan. He just knew that it would taste even better on the inside, something smooth and gooey that would spread in his mouth and trickle down his throat. Another finger joined it, making Duo close his eyes as he imagined his treat. He flicked his tongue in between them, tracking every single trace of sugar. He pushed them in deep as he fought to find more until he was probably imagining the taste more than anything.

He released his fingers with a wet pop. He stared at his damp fingers before absently lapping them, over and over again.

Duo really liked candy and he couldn't help but think about how he was going to get more of them.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Wufei must be planning something; he just had to figure out what.

He wondered if any of the other pilots knew anything about Wufei that he didn't. He set out to ask.

He talked to Quatre first but it appeared like the blond had only spoken to Wufei at one occasion and that was to ask what time the gundam flying simulation was going to be at. Quatre had given Duo a very strange look when he wanted to know if Quatre had accepted any candy from the other boy, but no, he had not.

Trowa had never spoken to Wufei and Heero was even worse because he didn't even know Wufei's first name. He just gave Duo a blank look when he asked him about him.

So it appeared like he was the only one that was being recruited. He wondered why.

He didn't have any special abilities if you didn't want to know where you could find the best drugs or the cheapest whores on L2. Duo very much doubted that Wufei was interested in that.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Duo spent the next two weeks trying to figure Wufei out, without results.

Deciding that enough was enough he annoyed Heero until the other boy taught him how to hack into the gundam simulator. He knew he was going to get hell for it if anyone caught him, but at this point, Duo did not care.

One early morning, Duo sneaked into the control room and highjacked the main control, turning his own laptop in to a remote control. After that, he hid behind a couple of containers standing in the corner of the simulator room, waiting for his time to strike.

Two hours later, just as Wufei's training session was about to end, Duo made the last exercise loop. Master O didn't notice a thing and it didn't take long before the control room was empty and they were the only people left in the simulator room.

The loop was just about to end when Duo opened the lid of the gundam shaped simulator and climbed in. Wufei's eyes went wide as he dropped down on his lap, slamming the lid close behind him.

"Wh- What are you doing?" Wufei questioned as he leaned back as much as he could, trying to create some distance between them.

Duo in turn moved in closer, trying to avoid the control stick that was poking him in the back. "I fixed the camera and there is no one left in the control room. It's just us and they can't hear us in here, so just tell me. What are you up to? A break out? Are you a spy? Are you working for OZ?"

"What? No!" Wufei protested, looking insulted.

"So you are just a gundam trainee?" Duo asked slowly, trying to tell if the other boy was lying to him.

"Y- yes."

Wufei was shifting awkwardly underneath him and he was blushing violently but it didn't appear like he was lying. Duo put him hand down on the edge of the pilot seat and leaned closer. "Then what do you need me for?"

Wufei didn't answer him, he just looked like he wanted to die of embarrassment. That was when Duo realized that he was sitting on something hard.

"Ah, I see." Duo leaned back with a cold smirk. "Now let me make this very clear, I am not a prostitute and my ass sure as hell is worth more than some candy."

If Duo thought Wufei looked like he wanted to die before, it was nothing like he looked right now. He was stuttering out something about how he didn't mean to be disrespectful and he was really sorry while hugging himself desperately. He looked so embarrassed that it almost hurt to watch him.

Duo suddenly felt a bit sorry for him. Maybe he wasn't the only one who kept stumbling over cultural differences?

"But you can have a kiss." He offered.

Wufei looked up with wide eyes.

Duo tilted his head to the side with a smile. That Wufei was pretty was nothing new, but right now he looked eatable. "Would you like a kiss?" He purred, leaning in closer.

Wufei nodded soundlessly and Duo slowly leaned forward until their lips meet in a soft, shallow kiss.

A familiar taste surprised him.

Duo licked his lips, and then he licked Wufei's. He waited a second until Wufei's lips opened up for him before dipping his tongue into that welcoming mouth. The underlying taste in Wufei's mouth made him deepen the kiss.

He pulled back slightly. "Raspberry?" He asked without taking his eyes off Wufei's wet lips.

"Strawberry." Wufei panted and fumbled with something in his pocket. A small red paper package appeared and Duo grinned.

"Give it here." Duo urged and Wufei handed it over. He fumbled with the lid for a second before he got it open. Taking a hold of a small shiny pyramid, Duo pushed it in between Wufei's open lips before diving in to kiss the other boy deeply. After all, candy should be shared.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-

AN - Can anyone tell that I've been eating to much candy this Christmas? XD


End file.
